The Problem With Social Comparison
Have you ever looked at another woman and thought, “Wow, I could never compete with her!” My response to that is,” good, you’re not supposed to.”
With the dawn of each new year, most of us have made some sort of resolution, or plan about what we would like to see change or improve upon in the coming months. Why not let one of those things be comparing yourself to others. Learning how to end social comparison for good is a complete game changer and instantly improves your self-esteem and self-confidence! Honestly, isn’t it time you stopped bullying yourself and letting others bully you into thinking you are less than?
Comparing yourself to others affects every other area of your performance. Let social comparison be THE 1 thing you are going to kick to the curb this year and watch your personal development soar. New habits are hard to remain in play when we can’t seem to let go of the old ones, and this is definitely one that needs the boot!
As women, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and playing the comparison game, yet it only breeds negativity! Whether we compare ourselves on social media, in the neighborhood, at the gym, or financially it seems never ending. Isn’t it time to get OFF the merry-go-round? Come on girl, I know you want to. In all honesty, many just don’t know how to jump off and land safely.
Insecurity comes from comparing yourself to someone else. The whole point of being an individual is to be unique and stand out. “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?” Knowing these things you can choose to no longer participate in such habits. The payoff for comparing yourself to another never yields anything positive. More often than not it creates feelings of inferiority, worry, and stress. There is a famous saying that “comparison is the thief of joy” and that couldn’t be more true.
The Solution Is In Your Identity
I’m speaking from experience here friend. I was super shy in high school. Tall lanky uncoordinated and not confident. I wanted to be and look like everyone else, but that wasn’t God’s plan for me. He made me this way, and at almost 6’1” I DO stand out and that’s ok. I’ve accepted it. There are some things we can change, hair color, muscle tone, etc., and they can help you begin to feel more confident, but those are only the outward symbols of perceived strength. What God created is a beautiful thing.
You see, He made you exactly as you are for a reason and a purpose. He doesn’t let ANYTHING go to waste. All you have been through in life has prepared you for right now. Only you could do these assignments He has prepared for you to do. We are not to be a marching army that looks and talks the same. Variety is the spice of life and it is to be celebrated. As you begin to build up your strength in your “inner being” that will shine through you to yourself and those around you. Inner strength is the most beautiful of all.
Start Here By Applying These 10 Principles
Take a deep breath, and start here, knowing that freedom from “old” habits and thoughts comes from recognizing the area of change you want and NEED to make. These key points will help you in your efforts to say goodbye to the endless carousel ride and stand firmly on solid ground with renewed confidence and a strong sense of self-worth.
- Focus on your strengths. You’ve got some amazing qualities, gifts, and talents. Let ’em shine!
- Set up some healthy boundaries and stop unhealthy people from affecting your mental health and sanity. You are NOT a doormat.
- Freedom comes from being happy with yourself. Being content with self is totally underrated. Deep inner peace comes from knowing that you are enough and you don’t need to make “her” your competition.
- Life is better when we see each other as allies. The trick in all of this is coming to that knowledge and to fix that you’ll need to start saying your daily affirmations. Remind yourself who God says you are. Having a strong sense of biblical identity fills you with self-confidence and frees you up from feeling the need to compare.
- You are unique. You are an individual. You are beautiful all on your own, without comparing, puffing yourself up, or making someone else feel small. The bottom line is you matter. You contribute beauty and hope to this world by being an individual AND a team player. Begin to see yourself as strong and confident about what you bring to the table. Compete with yourself, NOT the girl next to you.
- Practice gratitude and be thankful for what you DO have
- Don’t like what you see? Work on it. Read the bible and see what God says about you and start speaking it out. Take classes, and change what you can, and don’t worry about the rest God will take care of that.
- Don’t worry about the past, or what’s done or not done. Take 1 day at a time. You didn’t arrive where you are overnight and you will not instantly change overnight either. Give yourself grace and live with a realistic, yet optimistic mindset.
- Be your own cheerleader, not a cage-fighting boxing partner! Positive self-talk and compliments to others go a long way in building your own self-confidence.
- Take a break from whatever it is that is feeding your insecurities. For most that is social media. Do a detox for a bit and focus on your healing.
Competition has its place on the field, but not in our day to day lives with each other. This year I sense the Lord wants us to walk in unity with each other. That cannot happen when we are in comparison mode because jealousy and feelings of insecurity will take over. When that happens we don’t see clearly and no one wins; it’s a losing game.
This year, take a bold step toward freedom and personal growth by learning your God-given identity, becoming more self-confident, and finally, getting off the merry-go-round.
Cheering you on always,
xoxo, Karen
Let me know which one/s of these tips you found most helpful or something else that has helped you by leaving a comment below.
Additional Resources
If you would like to delve into this area of personal development further check out my blog article on 7 Steps To Increase Your Self Esteem And Self Confidence or any of the other articles on growing in self-confidence by using the confidence tab under articles on the top right of this page
Just can’t get enough? Download my FREE eBook 7 Days To A More Confident You by using this link https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/4hwM7k5/MyConfidentStyle
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